Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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