girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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