Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
