i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
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