From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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