I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
People in love make me want to vomit
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
