Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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