and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
