Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
