I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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