dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
