I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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