im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
