Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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