you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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