Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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