i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
