there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
