is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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