So drunk its hurt
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Randomize
