You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
