I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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