my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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