If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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