My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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