Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
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I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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