so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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