just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
