Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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