tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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