So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
It's just like the Real World with babies
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
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I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
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GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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