I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
