Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
