NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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