Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
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Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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