You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
