the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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