dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
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