More tranny stories later!
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
