dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
