I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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