I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
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No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize