He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
