She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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