I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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