i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
