someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
