They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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