I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
