I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
