yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
