I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
