dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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