bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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