your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
