You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
