We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
