Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize