I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize