i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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