there was a trapeze. enough said
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
