So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
