THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
