youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
