so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
